I stood chopping vegetables on a large wooden cutting board in my mother’s kitchen. I had come over early to help her prepare for a family gathering later that afternoon … when it happened.
The world around me stilled. The knife fell gently from my hands onto the board in front of me. And these words came to my Spirit … I’m bringing you into your Canaan, but you will have to face your giants first.
You’d have to know my backstory and the hard things I’d recently been walking through to know what a shock it was to hear this. I had no idea exactly what those words entailed. But I did know this – He was promising to bring me into something and someplace beautiful. But the road there would not be an easy one.
And it wasn’t.
Almost 11 years later, I would see this promise fulfilled. He would do what he said. And I’m walking into it as I write this to you.
All the while, my giants are still staring me down. No, they haven’t given up just yet. And my fear of them has not yet vanished. But I’m choosing to walk toward them anyway, past them, and beyond. To a blessing I never thought possible for me.
I have found the one whom my soul loves. Song of Solomon 3:4.
These are the words etched on the inside of my husband’s ring. These are words I never thought I would share with a flesh-and-blood man in this world because I didn’t think love like that existed for me. This belief was paved by rejection and abandonment that began at an early age. And until my husband came to me, I had not seen what the real love of a man even looked like. It was surreal to me.
And it still is.
I know that my particular promise from God is not the kind of promise every one of his daughters is given or will receive. His promises to us are as unique as we are. But for me, his blessing hinged on the presence of a healthy and loving relationship that would open my heart up to long-awaited healing and wholeness. You see, God knows what we need most. And he will stop at nothing to bring it to us … and to bring us into it.
I waited a long time. I doubted. I believed. I wrestled between the two. But in the end, in the depths of my being, I just knew. I knew he would do it. Eventually. My stubborn faith would not let go of his words.
I don’t know if you’re waiting on a promise like I was. But if you are … and it seems far away from you, remember his love. Hold onto it. Seek out and recall evidence of it. Stubbornly refuse to give up hope in it.
And I promise it will find its way to you. As it has since the day you chose him. Since the day that he chose you.
God, I don’t want to ever stop believing that your words are true. And not just true, but true for me. Remind me that I matter. That I matter to you. Show me evidence of your love that I cannot deny. And give me a heart that never gives up hope in it. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
