Someone recently suggested that anxiety can be a good thing. And I gotta tell you — I was intrigued. Why? Because I struggle more than just a little with this thing called anxiety.
In fact, I’d even begun to wonder if I’d developed some sort of anxiety disorder. And while I know that physical things (such as hormone levels, for example) can contribute to or even account for the symptoms of anxiety, I realized that much of my anxiety seemed to come upon me suddenly and without warning — falling over and around me like a dark veil.
This happened to me three nights ago. Without warning or a trigger, it settled into me like a dark and heavy cloud whispering messages of despair. An unnamed terror rose up to the surface, unsettling me.
Reluctantly, I recalled it to my husband later that night. Reluctantly because of the shame I felt over its presence and the fact that I couldn’t will it away. I’m sure it will be gone by morning, I told him before falling asleep. But it wasn’t. It woke with me — and lasted until the following day. Then, like a break in the clouds, it was gone — as swiftly as it had come.
I’ve not ruled out that physical things, as I mentioned, may be a contributing factor in all this. But I’m more curious about it than afraid of it as I consider something new.
Could our anxiety be an opportunity to trust God more?
Could it even be that he allows it to come to us, his beloved daughters, for that very reason?
It seems ironic that he would say, be anxious for nothing in Philippians 4, then allow anxiety to sift through his hands of protection to fall upon us. But what if instead of an end, it’s a beginning?
This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. Psalm 91:2, NLT
This verse is a declaration to believe what it says.
I believe that God uses everything under heaven for a reason and to further his purposes in and through us. So might he dare to use the darkness of anxiety to further his kingdom in our hearts? To encourage us to choose him when the darkness surrounding us appears as thick as mud?
What would happen if we chose trust right in the messy middle of all that? What might change inside of us if we began doing that again and again? If we stubbornly refused not to? What if we postured ourselves into trust mode the very moment the anxiety started to fall over us or grab hold of us?
What if we started to say no to it — and yes to him? Every. Single. Time.
God,
Psalm 31:24 says, Be strong and of determined hearts, all you who wait for the Lord. And so I pray your blessing of this exhortation over my life and over the lives of your daughters who are reading this. Give us the strength and courage we so desperately need so we can follow the call to draw closer to you in trust and intimacy. Prepare our minds for battle as we posture our hearts toward you in the midst of it. In Jesus’ most holy name I pray. And by his precious blood do I seal it up. For your glory, amen.
– If you haven’t subscribed to my newsletter, I encourage you to do so now so you don’t miss my next email. In it, I’ll explore anxiety and provide tips to manage it. God bless you.
